Make Friends With Stress!
“I am so stressed out (sigh of exhaustion… or perhaps even a bit of defeat).”
Has this thought or similar crossed your mind recently? YES you say?
Well, you’re not alone. People today are way to frequently, profoundly and overwhelmingly stressed, exhausted and kinda cranky ... if we’re being honest with ourselves. People feel like sinking ships, like they just can’t seem to keep up, to get it all done, or to even dream of having time to rest, relax and take the time for self care practices.
We’ve traded play, creativity, adventure, connection and meaning for stress, frustration, chronic busyness, and irritation! Then we wonder why it seems so difficult to stay afloat. Man cannot live on stress alone! Or, not for long anyway. And why the heck would we want to!?
I believe that people genuinely want to feel lighter. To have more time to play, create, connect and adventure. To be free of weighted obligations and seemingly endless to dos. Let’s face it, much of today’s society now lives on stress, fear and anxiety as if it were the finest six course meal at an elegant four star restaurant… thus, the daily return. I watch people, even entire business organizations melting down, bit by bit.
What’s driving the stress and stress-related habits, like chronic busyness, worry, irritation, blame, resentment and anxiety?
Often, it’s a rotten inner voice that has somehow taken over the driver’s seat of our life. It whispers, and sometimes shouts, “you’re not enough; you’re lazy; do more; be more; make more money; get more chicks; you’ll never get married; your husband is probably going to leave you for a younger; hotter woman soon, you’re too fat; you’ll never have a great body again; you’re an idiot; what’s wrong with you; try again, that wasn’t perfect; you’re a loser; you didn’t get enough done today; you’ll never be happy or successful; face it you’re worthless; why are you always so mean and critical; they probably don’t like you anyway; you’ll always be this tired; what, you’ re sick again …”
On and on the rotten inner critic taunts. It leads us on with shame and guilt, and the hope of easier times. It leads us to believe that trying harder, doing more, bigger, better is somehow the gateway to freedom, to liberation.
But if that was true, it would have already happened. You are trying very hard, you are doing more, bigger and better. Yet, are you feeling calm? Content? Fulfilled? Are you relaxing, resting or reading on a daily basis? Are you taking time for self care each day? Are you playing, creating and adventuring on a very regular basis as a result of TRYING HARD?
Despite your inner longings for easier times, slower paced living, deeper meaning and more fulfilling connections, you seem to wage on, perhaps just existing in some ways within the limits our own internal battles.
If trying hard is not the solution, then what is? I suggest, Making Friend With Stress! Stress is just a socially accepted word for fear anyway! If you have the right tools and systems in place, you can literally make friends with the chaos in life
Here are a few ideas to get you moving.
1. Choose yourself first.
This notion can feel foreign or even selfish to some people. But, I absolutely guarantee you that when you are feeling emotionally well, eating mostly healthy foods, doing some kind of regular movement, taking time to go on adventures or play around like a goof ball, sleeping 8 hours per day, and expressing your version of creativity EVERY week, you will be so much better for your family, friends, work, work mates, pets, and society as a whole.
Is this true? Duh! Of course it is. We neglect all of these basic self-care needs for days, weeks or months, and then wonder why a marriage is falling apart, or why we drink, eat or spend more in order to escape or numb out, or why health is going to shit, or why you feel emotionally bombed and on edge…