Want to Eliminate (Not Manage) Anxiety & Stress?
So many of the people I work with as clients, wake up ALREADY OVERWHELMED at the day ahead.
The moment their eyes open, their minds are instantly filled with thoughts of endless todos and feelings of 'I'll never get it all done." Followed by the desire to pull the blankets over their heads and stay in bed all day!
Even if the to do lists are filled with enjoyable purpose-filled tasks, days can still be riddled with anxiety and stress.
Wouldn't you just LOVE to begin waking up feeling calm and ready to hop out of bed with inspiration and boundless energy? Or call upon calm anytime you like?
CALM is available at anytime, with the right tools and perhaps healing. Anyone can learn the skills to eliminate anxiety, and not just the kind you wake up with- but any variety.
I am a firm believer in eliminating obstacles, rather than managing them. This goes for unwanted feelings or experiences related to life, love, work and anything in between. Eliminating, over managing, is not a popular pathway, but it is one that will create actual happiness!
Take Liberated Action! Discipline, Empower Or Mitigate Your Thoughts
The negative thoughts that pop into your head are RARELY reliable, and even less often based on truth.
The vast majority of the thoughts you think today are mirror images, copies, replicas of 'yesterdays' thoughts- with no bearing or validity on 'today'. They really don't even have any useful meaning, just the meaning you decide to assign for the moment or day.
Most of what comes to mind under negative or overwhelming circumstances (negative emotions or feelings) are a result of childhood conditioning, ignorance, negative habits, or a lack of intentional action.
We learn to respond in certain ways, then practice responding to certain types of stimuli in certain ways, then experience specific feelings as a result of these conditioned or programmed patterns.
Here's an example: The habit of blaming.
Blaming interestingly ASSUMES that you believe that your partner (or other person) is intentionally, knowingly or blatantly trying to harm or hurt you. This is why blaming is accompanied by feelings of anger (and backlash), resentment, frustration, victimhood or self-pity.
Intentional harm is incredibly rare. What spouse, friend or even co-worker wakes up in the morning plotting, ‘how can I upset, hurt, anger or otherwise create conflict and drama today?’
It’s silly right! And if you really do believe that, it is probably time to move on from certain people...
The real culprit is undisciplined thinking!
Here are 3 great ways to discipline your thoughts and therefore REMOVE, NOT MANAGE anxiety.
1) Disciplining your thoughts!
What does it mean to discipline your thoughts?
The higher level answer is to be aware enough, disciplined enough and committed enough to STOP THINKING THOUGHTS that trigger pain and suffering. Since the thoughts you think today are essentially the same as many many yesterdays, and they aren't based in reality, but instead repetition rooted in what you are already used to thinking and feeling- they can be changed anytime.
This is where emotional freedom comes into play.
The key to disciplining your thoughts is to first become aware of the specific thought that is triggering anxiety or other upset.
2) Empower your thoughts
Empowering your thoughts, and therefore your emotional well being, is all about deciding that you WANT to think and feel differently.
This is the commitment step and decision.
Now that you are becoming more aware of your thoughts, and realizing that they really have been essentially set to 'repeat', commitment to fresh new thinking is key. You don't have to feel the same ole negative emotions any longer- but you must realize that your thoughts are what fuels EMOTIONS.
If you don't commit to changing thoughts and stories, then feeling anxious will likely continue.
3) Recontextualize your thoughts
I LOVE recontextualization. This has been one of the absolute keys for my emotional freedom and over all outlook on life, love, humanity, and the planet as a whole.
Recontextualizing means that you begin to tell yourself fresh, inspiring or healing thoughts and stories -- instead of the old tired, painful thoughts that spur on fear, anxiety, anger and upset.
It's time to take on new beliefs. For example, when I adopted the truth that "ALL people do their best at ALL times, with the tools and awareness they have at a given time", this allowed so much softness, forgiveness and understanding to take root.
Orienting my thoughts to this truth helped me to let go of so many perceived anxieties, offenses, fears, blaming and judgments. And is merely ONE amazing way to recontextualize a situation and experience the lightness and calm that accompanies it.
Practice Makes Permanent!
Begin to seriously question the validity of your thoughts (and opinions). As well as the sometimes, even seriously deranged interpretations and perceptions that you (humans) conjure up!
You might just give yourself a good laugh as you DISCIPLINE, EMPOWER AND RECONTEXTUALIZE the thoughts and stories that flow through your mind!.
Here are a few questions to get you started revamping your thinking:
Is s/he doing this on purpose? How do I know?
Do I really want to feed bad? If not, what else could I focus my thoughts on so I can shift my thinking?
Has s/he simply made a mistake or forgotten _________, and therefore the reason I am upset was just a mishap that I can recontextualize?
What does this anxiety really mean? What am I afraid of really? What is the worst case scenario? And how would I handle it if the worst thing came into fruition?
How else can I choose to see this situation?
Why am I taking this so personally? Do I just like playing the victim, being upset or anxious, or indulging self-pity?
Am I looking to be offended right now?
What would happen if I decided to view this situation with a complete solution focused attitude?
How can I view this situation with an open. loving heart?
What would I do differently if I believed in my partner (boss, co-worker, family member, etc) and his or her goodness?
IT'S YOUR TURN!
This is your chance to be a private investigator! You get to dig around, observe your thoughts, and then choose to DISCIPLINE, EMPOWER AND RECONTEXTUALIZE THEM in any way that suits you.
Remember, your thoughts are rarely based on truth, and do not represent who you truly are. Instead they have been engrained over time. Then you have practiced thinking and feeling according to past experiences, conditioned feelings, and myriad limiting beliefs.
Choose 3 opportunities over the next week to ‘catch yourself in the act’ of thinking something that is triggering upset.
Perhaps you will catch yourself assuming the worst intentions about yourself, your partner, your kids, or anyone else. Maybe you catch yourself in a huge state of anxiety (fear), or perhaps you find yourself blaming another person or situation for a specific feeling, experience or outcome.
Don’t worry--everyone does these things. It's ok, just practice catching yourself and moving forward!
Once you catch a negative or even destructive thought, challenge the ‘story you’re making up about that thought or situation’ by asking yourself one of the questions above.
Then RECONTEXTUALIZE it! Tell yourself a fresh story. One that feels good. Most of our thoughts are just made up anyway, so you might as well tell yourself something that FEELS GOOD!
NOW consider what you learned? Did the original stories SEEM true? Kinda true? Or totally deranged interpretations?!
Ok gang, you are armed with a truly fantastic tool box. This 3 step process has the power to change your life in very powerful ways!
Let me know how your practice goes! Reach out to me and share your successes and wins.