Progress Over Perfection Is A Game Changer!

So many of us are working from home right now and are fearful of possible job loss during this unsteady time. Being home has its benefits, but also allows for distractions and over working. Perfectionism can easily take hold with so much change. You need to be aware of the perils of perfectionism. Do you find yourself rolling out of bed and onto your laptop and wrapping up your day in a similar way? In hopes of having some semblance of control. During “normal, everyday times”, most of us start having anxiety each and every morning, and then a bigger bout around 4:00 pm on Sunday when faced with 'what the week might have in store'.

We begin our days and weeks with anxiety, feeling apprehensive about ALL there is to get done. Then end our weeks with depression over all of the things we didn’t accomplish. Fridays come and the relief of the end of our week is often joined with copious amounts of binge drinking, eating, gaming, shopping, sleeping, social-media-ing- or whatever one’s favored escape, or multiple escapes, might be. Hell- sometimes there is a mid week bender thrown in for good measure. Wednesdays and Thursdays are a big night for going out on the town! This is super amped up now with seemingly so much at stake. (Hit me up if you want support COMPLETELY squashing anxiety or depression, or any escape habit!) May people are on overdrive, and emotions on high alert. If fear of job loss or change is leading your days and weeks, how productive can you actually be? It’s a whole new world out there, 70 percent of kids are home-schooling. The entire family is online vying for the good internet speeds. Even our pets seem to need more attention! You are being pulled in so many directions and the changes for many are amazingly, even acutely, overwhelming. Careers have changed or come to a temporary or permanent halt. There even seems to be more work, more time spent working, and suddenly less income... Hopefully, in spite of the struggling and juggling, you find yourselves remaining hopeful for a brighter future and grateful for waking up another day and for all the love and goodness you have in your life.

After several months of limbo, it’s time to settle in and develop a schedule that really fits your current situation. You still need to be dreaming and strategizing. We must refocus on what really matters and high impact actions. We’ve been playing a short game and have lost focus on our long term goals. First, you must acknowledge that we are all "in progress", and on this journey of life together, evolving from one day to the next. So many are striving for perfection- this is where pain and suffering live. Perfectionism ultimately is quite crippling and steals energy, patience, tenderness, forgiveness and love from yourself and others. This is why perfectionists have such a high rate of anxiety and depression. Perfectionists expect too much, work far past ‘enough’, are ridiculously stressed, uber controlling and demanding, and generally discontent and anxious. And often too busy to recognize what you are feeling and why. And then there is the blaming of others for how you are feeling.... yuck! Perfectionists live in a world of black and white, good or bad, success for fail, and right or wrong. This polarized way of thinking and living makes any hope for peace and happiness, essentially impossible- and even encourages a great deal of procrastination- especially on things perceived to not be 'perfect' enough! Remember, it is all about the journey! You want progress and passion over perfectionism and procrastination. On a recent Podcast with Tim Farris, the founder of Toms shoes spoke about his own anxiety and depression. So many believe their perfectionist ways will take them to these higher success levels. Yet, most of the people who are deemed to be the most successful among us are struggling with anxiety and depression and are avid perfectionists. Remember, money and status are not the biggest markers of success. JOY AND CONTENTMENT ARE. Many who have made it to high levels professionally, still suffer in big ways. Perfectionism robs you of joy, contentment and happiness.

So... What can you do? Stay rooted in the concept of progress. Progress focus breeds excellence, flow, flexibility, and resilience in work, life, health, and family navigation. Progress means moving forward. Try taking each day as it comes. You can handle anything that comes at you when you are firmly rooted in progress and focused on THIS day, the only day there is. You are smart, you are strong and you are capable. When you are planning your days and weeks, remember to focus on what is genuinely important, and don't get bogged down by busyness and the too many to do’s. Your life’s fulfillments will come from deeper and more meaningful strategizing. And let’s face it, you ARE and everything on this planet is already perfect, and paradoxically, you will never achieve perfection! SO, embrace the fruits of making progress, one step, one improvement, one goal at a time. This is the makings for heart-centered achievement that allows simultaneously for a beautiful and fulfilling life. The brilliant thing to consider is… you get to decide. This is your life to lead. Do you want it to be filled with happiness, joy and wonderful love? Let go of unattainable expectations -- this is one significant start to a path to liberated living. Hit me up if you want support trading perfectionism for the excellence of progress focus or COMPLETELY quashing anxiety or depression! Be well, Dr. Shawn Haywood

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