Grow Your Courage!
Let’s talk courage... gusto, grit, risk, bold action, guts!
Here's a big harry audacious question for you: Do you have the GUTS to live YOUR life EXACTLY the way YOU want?
Do you have the guts to speak your mind boldly (and kindly) regardless of fear of disappointing or losing approval, or in spite of fearing conflict? Do you have the courage to make unpopular choices? Do you have the tenacity to set iron clad boundaries, to say NO to unwanted obligations, projects or tasks when they do not serve your highest good, the highest good of your family, or because you just plain don’t wanna? Do you have the courage to live YOUR life on YOUR terms, with YOUR deliberately crafted definitions of success, values, love, being, feeling, connecting, and working regardless of what others do, think, or say or how they might choose to judge you?
Or might you need to grow your courage a bit!?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if, on a moment's notice, we could call for take out, and order a very large slice of courage to take a big scary risk; a side of guts to speak our mind in total truth and love, and a tall glass of tenacity to rock your own socks off in life, love, adventure… and…?
I’m not implying that you don’t already have guts, courage or tenacity currently, no doubt you do. But, I am talking about next, next, next level courage. The type of courage that defines you and separates you from the pack.
I’m inviting you to live your BIGGEST, brightest, most courageous life. Why? Because it is awesome!
Here are a couple of examples of ongoing, real life courage stretching for me.
1) Sharing love and having loving discussions when I completely and utterly disagree with another person about very personal issues (religion, politics, etc). And to seek to understand and validate, instead of getting pissy, shutting down, or bullying. It is all too easy to have loving discussions with people whom I agree with and share common values. It is quite another, when there is 'mis-alignment'! This is an ongoing practice for meI get better and better, and still have a ways to go! It requires ongoing courage for me to practice engaging deeply, lovingly and meaningfully, especially when I fail, get upset, or bow out because it got 'too' tough for my comfort level.
2) Another example of where I continue to grow my courage muscle is in business. Specifically with learning to market retreats. I continue to learn more and more about how to market retreats -- because so many have failed to completely fill! A great love of mine is bringing women together for amazing transformational experiences and because the benefits are so profound and my heart sings so loudly in this setting, I continue to step out in courage, and try again and again! I am improving, that's for sure, but I also fail a good bit of the time! And if you are anything like me, the idea of failing totally sucks!
I have also had the guts to redefine the entire concept of failure. I have removed all layers and strands of its heavy connotation. Now, failure to me is synonymous with 'learning and expanding'. Because of this courageous action in redefining of the concept of failure, when things don't go as planned, my continued perseverance and emotions do not crumble and I can remain steadfast in my goals.
Living life to the absolute fullest includes, not only the guts to take risks and go big, but the courage to do the work to heal old wounds; shift beliefs, open your heart when it is difficult; to insist on being completely authentic no matter if or when others are looking; to learn to listen intently to your heart; to act on your heart’s beautiful inner guidance; and to uncover and remove the limiting beliefs that hold you back from your best life and emotional wellness.
Guts rise up in a variety of shapes and sizes, but practicing ‘next level’ courage is a defining factor in people who are (or want to be) profoundly rooted in the top layer of success, peace, love and joy.
So, what kind of COURAGE does it take to create the life of your dreams and to cultivate an ongoing inner space of success, peace, love and joy? Here are a few ideas to mull around. Each of these requires courage, and when acted upon, embodies a dazzling impact on all facets of life!
Liberated Lesson #1: Heal Old Wounds- Diving into the process of healing old or current wounds and pain is not for the faint of heart. Embracing healing definitely requires courage… but, only in the beginning. Once you begin, the process unfolds in a fairly fluid way.
There are numerous ways to go about healing in order to be increasingly clear headed and clear hearted so you can effortlessly ramp up your levels of success, love, peace and joy. Which then allows you to have deeper connections, more meaningful work, flowing creative expression, and inner emotional freedom.
To heal old or even current hurt and pain, you can hire a coach, a coach trained therapist, or a spiritual guide. Email me for a list of rock star books to help kick off your healing journey (firstname.lastname@example.org), take a class, take one of our programs. Basically, GRAB the courage to do whatever it takes for you to remove old baggage, clear out emotional clutter and move forward powerfully! The price of continuing to carry it is just too high.
Liberated Lesson #2: Commit to Being Completely Authentic- I love the idea of authenticity, and boy oh boy does it require guts and tenacity to stand in your own self-defined space of authenticity. Heck, it takes courage just to define and get clear about what it means for you to be authentic.
Just think of how easy it is to sell our self out to please others, to avoid disappointing, to fit in, to show off or get attention, or to gain the approval of someone from whom you really want it from? Ugh!
How stinking hard can it be to stay our own self-defined course? How challenging can it be to honor yourself or family by staying true to our values (if you even have them clearly defined to begin with. Or to tell your boss or a client, NO, I will not work late, I have a standing date with my family that begins at 5:45 sharp… EVERY day; or to keep commitments to yourself about health, creativity and wellness...?
Being and living authentically can be tough!
For far too many years of my life, I literally had no idea what authenticity meant, let alone how to practice it. I was so busy selling myself out! Practicing things like pleasing, avoiding conflict, doing what I thought would make others happy, care-taking, enabling --- all the while feeling pretty darn resentful and used because of these habits and choices.
At its core, being authentic or living authentically means honoring yourself first and foremost, no matter what the hell others think, do or say.
Self honor requires strength, and it is NOT the same as petty selfishness. Selfishness is rooted in pridefullness, sass, arrogance, perfectionism, pleasing, even meanness at times.
Self honor on the other hand is rooted in depth, love, compassion, connection, true service, open-hearted living, vulnerability, acceptance and surrender. The practice of consistent self honor grows into abundance in every category. It allows for everyone to be honored simultaneously.
Self honor is the foundation of authenticity. It ss a beautiful and courageous practice, skill and habit to be intentionally developed
Liberated Lesson #3: Listen to Your Heart and Act On It- The heart possesses a special form of inner guidance that requires courage and practice to access. Not courage in the traditional sense perhaps, like fighting a bull, but the kind of courage that leads us toward self and other emotional protection. Like saying NO to extraneous time stealers, time wasters, or destructive habits and people; or to taking a stand against gossip, or to express love when others are acting negatively.
Courage is also needed to listen to your heart when it encourages you to slow down, to take time to be still and sit quietly so that you have the space to actually hear our heart's inner wisdom dan guidance. This allows your mind to learn to become silent. Or, to at least practice allowing thoughts to soften and simply float by without grabbing on to any certain one and chasing it down a rabbit hole.
You can call this inner heard guidance anything that pleases you, as long as you call on it! Intuition, inner knowing, inner guidance, heart calling or whatever you like, I just matters that you make time and space to call- the line is always open.
The heart ALWAYS knows what is the most self honoring choice, path or decision. But, if we never practice being still enough to hear its guidance, or warnings, then we cannot practice connecting with it and utilizing this precious gift.
So, do yourself a HUGE favor and begin sitting still still and listening to your heart! Even if you sit still for only 5 minutes each day, learning to let thoughts float by without grabbing and running, you will see results over time. You will hear your heart. And you will be able to take more profound action in your life as a result.
Take Liberated Action!
Let’s now take the Liberated Lessons from above, wrap them in courage, guts, gusto and tenacity, and take the necessary actions to craft and live life that is more and more on YOUR terms!
1. Heal Old Wounds: What is one significant action you are willing to take in an effort to heal old heart wounds, even if it just a piece of an old wound, negative emotion or situation that is not good for you, destructive or otherwise self-dishonoring? What will healing this piece do for you? How will growing the gusts to take this action allow you to live life MORE on your terms?
2. Commit to Being Completely Authentic- What will the iron clad decision to BE YOUR authentic self mean for your ability to live life exactly the way you want?
Now, determine the actions you need to take to practice authenticity. Do you need to say NO to activities, people, opportunities, or even thoughts that promote busyness, anxiety, frustration, fear, anger, pleasing, or calamity? Dp you need to practice saying YES to only that which is deeply valuable, fulfilling, value aligned, fun, or profitable to you (body, mind, spirit), to your business, or to your personal relationships?
Name just one obligation that you can courageously remove from your life so that you will be honored- feel calmer, get to slow down a little or even have the time to just sit and be?
3. Listen to Your Heart and Act On It- What time of the day can you commit to spending just 5 minutes, or even 1 minute, being still and listening to your heart? Do you have the guts to value yourself enough to make this idea a practice in your life?
What clues can you look for to know your heart is calling so you can be more encouraged to listen, hear and heed it’s advise or warning? The heart is magic and it will guide you in profound ways, so keep your ‘heart’ open.
This takes real courage to take soul ownership of your life, to take responsibility for YOUR experiences, results, arguments, upsets and negative emotions, and especially to take the needed action to CHANGE your life in order to live your best life, and to live life on your terms.
Life liberation is not for the faint of heart! It takes the time to Grow Your Guts!
This is your voyage. Get out of your comfort zone. Live YOUR biggest, brightest, boldest and most beautiful life.
Cheers, Dr. Shawn Haywood!