Your Thoughts LIE: Then Lead You To Anxiety, Stress, & Upset? But, You Can Have A Peaceful Mind.
Yes, your thoughts DO lie. And they lie a lot!
It’s true. A great many, and arguably, most thoughts, beliefs and feelings are sneaky little LIARS that trick us into feeling anxious, stressed out and frustrated in myriad ways.
False negative thoughts are frequent; to the tune of thousands of misleading thoughts per day that then wreak havoc on your emotions, stress levels, upset, anxiety and frustration.
Have you ever thought about the possibility of thoughts, and you’re your emotions, being rooted in lies or falsehood? Do you practice questioning your thoughts, beliefs and feelings to make SURE they are legit, practical and useful? Or to see if any given thought is desirable and worth keeping and aligning your experience of life with?
As you begin to consider inner (even unconscious) thoughts, beliefs or feelings as consistent and frequent ‘liars’ might seem weird, frightening or even off putting! But, hang in and all will become clear.
I spend a significant amount of time with clients helping them de-construct their thinking, feeling and belief cycles, and then to re-frame or re-create them in order for their lives to become devoid of anxiety, depression, overwhelm, frustration, anger, bitterness, upset, chronic busyness, drama, chaos, resentment, over drinking, eating, spending, working or any other form of ‘over indulging’, and to remove unwanted situations, interactions, results, emotions, people, obligations and even bad luck.
The thing is, some people want to be very, very, very happy and super duper successful in their lives. Thus, deconstructing, reframing and recreating, as well as detaching from false thoughts, feelings and beliefs is THE way to become significantly happier and successful.
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Let’s break this down so you can get an idea of what the heck I’m talking about when I say that feelings, beliefs and thoughts are usually rooted in unreliability and lies!
Example: Low Self-Confidence
Let’s say you have had a long-standing problem with low self-confidence. And perhaps this leads you to struggle with some combination of, setting healthy boundaries, saying no, having healthy, honest or vulnerable relationships, feeling frequently frustrated, settling in some ways, having anxiety, fear of taking risks, guilt, feeling melancholy, fearing being alone, and the like.
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Maybe something in your growing up experience was experienced or felt traumatic, or you had a parent who was domineering, depressed, critical, an addict, absent or something else that informed, or led, you to have a lack of confidence as an adult.
When situations such as these occur during one’s formative years (which essentially happens with everyone), children have a very poor way of translating and understanding difficult experiences, while at the same time drawing self-deprecating conclusions about their beautiful, perfect, precious, and innocent little selves- ie, you! Which then develops over the years into any or most current unwanted life situations, feelings, experiences, perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, opinions and ideas.
We take on beliefs like, ‘I am not lovable enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, sexy enough, talented enough, helpful enough, funny enough, outgoing enough…’ You can fill in your ‘not-enough _______ blanks’.
We all get to adulthood with myriad ‘not-enough thoughts (lies) and beliefs (more lies) and then orient life around these lies. Certainly however, it is important to know that ALL beliefs related to ‘not being enough’ are absolute lies.
These thoughts and beliefs then turn into actions, like: over trying, procrastination, perfectionism, work-aholism, lying, underachievement, tumultuous relationships, settling, behaving as a victim, being helpless, wanting to be rescued, depression, anxiety, addiction, an ‘I can’t’ mentality, chronic worry, guilt or fear, promiscuity, shyness, drugs, pornography addiction, obnoxiousness, any kind of drug or alcohol dependence, arrogance, being snide, sarcastic or rude, and the list goes on and on of possible icky or undesirable outlets for ‘not-enough’ beliefs to be played out.
For every faulty thought (which reflects inner beliefs) one has about him or herself, there are a dozens of supporting faulty beliefs, thoughts and feelings that accompany it– which are also lies simply by association. “Guilty by association!” And as a sneaky way to support faulty beliefs, our unconscious mind (or ego mind / small self) aligns our entire life experience to an exacting degree for which to use as evidence to shore up the lies- and so the cycle is on constant repeat!
Whew! That’s kinda heavy, huy!
Let’s look at a specific life example from my childhood to make this increasingly clear and useful for you.
When I was a little girl, I struggled with undiagnosed reading comprehension and sensory processing issues. This made reading zero fun because my comprehension was very poor. Making test taking anxiety producing, painful and poor as well. My family and teachers thought I was ‘being lazy, making careless mistakes and not apply myself.’ For which I got in a lot of trouble. All the while feeling very internally upset and frustrated.
What did I garnish from this combination of challenges?
‘I am stupid.’ Period. The end. This was a fact in my mind for far too many years.