Learn To Create ACTUAL & Lasting Change in 2018!
Be honest… have you ever stuck to a ‘New Year’s Resolution’ for more than a few days or few weeks?
So, that’s a NO then… Well, don’t sweat it, you’re not alone.
Maybe there are a few outliers out there who have stuck a New Year’s Resolution for a bit longer! But on the whole, NY’s Resolutions are a total flop!
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fall into the NYR flop category, you have great intentions and that’s awesome! Unfortunately, NYs Resolutions are usually set to fail, thus making them destined to flop.
At the root of NY Resolutions is change. Positive change, healthy change. Which is fantastic, and noble goals.
Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail Most Of The Time?
!) NYR are too flimsy, not enough meat! It’s not tied to values.
2) NYR usually do not include enough specificity and detailed action, too vague
3) NYRs too often include ‘deprivation’, which is never a sustainable model
Let’s look at these 3 ideas in a real life NYR example. ‘Losing weight’. After all, it’s the #1 NYR.
Most people want to lose weight 98% for vanity. This is not sustainable in and of itself. Vanity is not a heart-centered value. But, if you decide to remove gluten (grains, breads, etc.) because it makes you feel horrible, bloated, sluggish, and depressed, like it does me. And because you REALLY want to feel good, happy and energetic (this is a meaty reason to make a change). Then making this change becomes more sustainably available, and removing gluten containing product from one’s diet nearly always results in weight loss. This framework included value driven purpose and supporting details, as well as specific action (removing Gluten containing foods).
What about the deprivation factor? This is key. When we remove once loved foods (especially if depended upon emotionally) there is a sense of loss and deprivation. In this way, making swaps or food exchanges is a great idea! You can make home made spelt tortillas (delicious, email me for the recipe). OR you can simply add more fat, bodies LOVE avocado and coconut oil fats because they are usable! Hooray! I can eat twice to three times as many of these fat calories than I could bread and my body and brain and emotions say, ‘hip hip hooray!’ Because I was strategic about making dietary changes, I don’t miss things like breads or other grains that make me feel yucky!
Make sense? Any change or NYR hopes and dreams must have three components:
1) Heart centered purpose and tied to values. An example of value attachment for me. I am not a fan of how small farmers are treated by big agriculture. Because, I deeply value kind, fair, honest, and equitable treatment of people, I don’t purchase anything with GMO corn (which is a SHIT ton of products). So now, when I look at that Cholula hot sauce that I used to put on nearly all foods, I see ‘mis-treatment’ instead of Mmmmm… simply because it contains GM high fructose corn syrup. And the decision is easy. The entire way my family eats is tied to this set of values, thus, we eat at home most of the time and cook with local (as often as possible), organic, and definitely humanely raised foods. This alone cuts out hundreds of unhealthy food choices that keep us from gaining unnecessary weight – or losing weight for someone else.
2) Specific and action oriented change is paramount. If you want to begin a habit like journaling or meditation on a daily basis, then specific and actionable and DOABLE actions are needed. Begin with just 2 -5 minutes each day. Commit to this specific, achievable action until it is a total breeze. Then add 2-3 additional minutes. And repeat.
Most people attack change with lofty, unreasonable, or vague intentions or goals. This is a recipe for failure.Our brains do not respond well to these kinds of goals.Specific.Achievable.Simple actions.