Like many female business owners, (maybe even you), I used to spend far too much time in the first years of business feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, while being time-starved, and wearing more hats than the Mad Hatter!
Emphasis on Mad… You know, like loco, coo-coo, loony, losing my nut. Ok, now I’m just bring silly!
And what was worse (embarrassing actually), my job in part then, and now, is to teach principals of peace, success as a lifestyle, passionate productivity and deep fulfillment. Living like this, wasn’t always the case for me!
Fortunately, I’m a pretty quick study and fabulously stubborn. As such, I was determined to find ways to truly live stress free and be a calm, empowered leader in my business and in my life. And I did, and still do, mean FREE. Free of chronic stress, overwhelming overwhelm, jittery anxiety, the curse of perfectionism, and the ‘wake up in the night thinking about all that I had to do’ fears and worries. I was after complete and utter freedom, and this same freedom is what I want for my clients and you.
For me, the combination of my manic mind and an almost constant striving for the ‘illusive perfection ghost’, felt more like an emotional prison than ‘Liberated Living.
Fast forward to the present… And it has been a delicious 10 years + since I committed my whole self to designing my most precious life. What a treasure. Of course, life grows and evolves each year, while adding fresh layers of love, joy, significance, contribution, connection and passion. And simultaneously, subtracting ideas, thoughts, behaviors, processes and actions that I have outgrown or no longer serve my best efforts.
There are 6 Keys to eliminating Stress, Overwhelm, Loneliness, and Frantic Monkey Minded Thinking. I want you too, to create and live your most precious version of life.
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Live Free Actions!
6 Habits to Set Yourself Free!
1) Put Away the Perfectionism
It’s time to move from perfectionist to recovering perfectionist!! OR, to an excellence drive lifestyle to be precise!
I’ve become a part of this cool-kitten club, my clients have as well, and now the invitation is being extended to you.
This action is pivotal ladies. I know you just can’t seem to help yourself in the realm of ‘striving for perfection’ and a go-go-go attitude. You go the extra mile… and then 5 more. You want a perfect 10.0 score on the ‘test of life’. You’re more than tempted to multi-task, though multi-tasking is just an invitation to do several things poorly all at once and with little focus!
Eventually, perfectionism drives us until your brain, body, and spirit are fried, tapped out, strung out, fatigued, exhausted!
The differences between perfectionism and an excellence drive lifestyle are HUGE. Perfectionism includes:
Fearing disappointment and disapproval of others
Being busy for the sake of ‘being busy’ or ‘manic’ because you can’t seem to relax (psst, you can learn to be Zen though!)
Attempting to accomplish a hundred tasks just so your list can be complete, regardless of the impact or lack of impact on your life and business… if you have even given yourself time to gage impact
Feeling false fear, guilt and shame
Saying yes when you want to say no
Feeling stressed, anxious, discontent and frustrated
Feigning happiness, while slowly dying on the inside
An excellence drive lifestyle on the other hand is fantastically inspiring and involves:
Super focus, singular focus and clarity / purpose of action
Completing the tasks that are the most important for life and business success
Living your values as a lifestyle
The ability to say no
Plenty of free time
Calm, joy, engagement, confidence
Strong, positive leadership
Lightness of spirit, gentleness in living
Loads of inspiration, energy, passion, time, love, giving and receiving
Which would you like to experience? Excellence? Great choice! Next stop, systematically replace perfection driven thinking, behaving and acting with excellence driven living.
2) Scale Up Passion & Significance
What are you so amazingly and whole-heartedly passionate about that also makes you feel significant? Take your time answering this one…
You got your answer?
I LOVE coaching and training with my clients and their teams (this is my heart’s calling and passion)- And the emotional rewards of helping others become happier, softer, emotionally calm, and have greater business and relationship success (and much more) allows me to feel like a queen and a champion all in one (significance).
Because of the passion and significance associated with coaching, I spend about 80 percent of my work time doing this (or writing about it)! Here is the key-
In order to feel inspired on a sustainable basis and to feel deeply connected to the world as a whole, female business owners MUST spend about 80 percent of her work time on the business tasks that elicit PASSION AND SIGNIFICNECE.
This is non-negotiable. And a deal-breaker in the game of happy-living if out of balance for too long.
Without this 80 percent of career time dedicated to passion and significance, she (you) will feel and express some version of resentful, frantic, unfocused, stressed, unhappy, angry, alone, and overwhelmed.
3) Eliminate the Misery!
This action supports ‘Scaling Up with Passion and Significance’. Ask yourself, ‘What are the top 3 tasks, problems or people who make me feel most upset, frustrated or stressed (and/or create extra work/drama for me)?
Once you have these 3 ideas on paper, create a plan to systematically eliminate, systematize or delegate each one.
You may feel that I am simplifying this idea. But truly, eliminating that which is harmful to your body, mind or spirit is literally THE EASIEST choice.
… But, the choices associated with elimination might be emotional. Be sure not to confuse emotionally taxing choices for difficult choices.
Now… make a plan to eliminate your top 3 within 30 days. Yep, right know, while you feel inspired to do.
For example, perhaps running day-to-day operations is the bane of your existence? Look into automating parts and delegating pieces. Hire a Virtual Assistant or general manager to lighten your load if need be.
Even if your greatest source of pain, drama or problem is a person or loved on, a shift must be made.
Like ALL problem situations, there are many options available within the elimination phase. You might need some assistance in re-creating or healing your love relationship or business partnership, you may need to fire and replace an employee or give her a different set of responsibilities. Or, the best producer in the company might also create an inordinate amount of drama among the staff which outweighs her contribution, and therefore needs to be replaced.
Reach out for help or hire a coach to help you through the elimination phase if you need to, BUT don’t be tempted to skip this step. The top layer of amazingly happy and fulfilled female business owners are practiced at elimination, systematization, and delegation in order to let life flow and thrive.
I promise, all challenges, even seemingly insurmountable or overwhelming challenges can be remedied with far more ease than you might imagine!
Pssst, we (life & business design coaches here at Liberate My Life) are happy to walk you through any part of this process if you like. Click here to learn more!
4) No Habla Obligations
Strong, high-achieving, empowered HAPPY business women do not believe in obligations.
Obligations are time-stealing, energy draining succubus’s which have no place in our fabulous inspired living.
Practice saying NO. Set better boundaries. And get used to your calendar having open space as you begin being a ‘no obligation zone.’
One caveat… If you are a die hard pleaser, and terrified of disappointing others by saying no or setting strong boundaries… you can take this transition slow if need be. Maybe give yourself TWO obligatory freebies each month for the next three months.
Eliminating obligations, or mentally shifting some tasks in to a joyfully giving space, does require practice, but well worth the effort and additional sanity.
5) Practice the 80/20 Rule Like It’s Your New Religion
I completely LOVE the 80/20 principle. In fact, it has revolutionized my life and business. If you’re not familiar with this idea, read, ‘Living The 80/20 Way,’ by Richard Koch. (Not to be confused with Koch Industries). It is amazing!
Using the 80/20 in and on all areas of your life, from sales and strategy to love and friendships, and from free time and fun to thinking and food selection - is a truly great resource.