Do you find yourself struggling to win conflict? Do family, friends or co-workers wonder why you insist on being “always” being right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, and with others feeling bullied, punished or otherwise less than encouraged? And do your disagreements frequently escalate to shouting and anger?
If you have said yes to these questions, you might be a Right-Fighter and the people in your life are suffering and so are you!
What is a Right-Fighter?
A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even when s/he doubts their own view. They become overly emotional, defensive or angry when others don’t agree with their opinions and beliefs. A right-fighter insists on having the last word and refuses to back down from conflict, regardless of potential damage to relationships. Right-fighters are masterful at turning situations around and laying blame.
The right-fighter often invites feedback, then frequently punishes for that which was requested when it suits his/her situation or motives. Because the right-fighter’s main goal is only to win, s/he often forgets what the argument was even about. These destructive behaviors are present for the right-fighter at the office and at home in varying degrees.
This week’s action step is to become aware of any right-fighting tendencies you may have. In part 2, we’ll take a look at how and why right-fighting takes root.
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